


Homecoming King

by suckntuck



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers, dont quote me on that, gay shit, i love my characterization of rich, idk if thats selfish, maybe smut???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-07-23 11:57:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16158524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suckntuck/pseuds/suckntuck
Summary: Jake Dillinger is different now. He used to be the superhero action figure with the rotating joints that you had as a kid. The one you loved and played with so much that the leg broke off. No biggie, your dad could fix it. But fixing it meant supergluing it back together. The joint didn’t move anymore so playing with it wasn’t the same. You lost interest. That’s what Jake felt like. Everyone lost interest in him because he couldn’t do what he used to.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> pls don’t get too emotionally connected to this bc idk how often it will be updated 
> 
> no squip universe babey

_3:04 AM._

Jake pulls his pillow over his face.

_3:47 AM._

He groans out loud, kicking his blankets back.

 _4:24 AM_.

He begins counting. Counting his body parts always used to help him fall asleep. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten toes. Two calves, Eleven, twelve. Knees, thighs. Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. Pelvis. Seventeen. He continues until they all begin to feel heavy and tired, so he wouldn’t be able to move them without really focusing on it. All that’s left was his brain. The hardest part.

 _4:58 AM_.

Jake gives up. What’s the point of trying to fall asleep for thirty-two minutes?

You’re probably wondering what was on his mind, causing him to have the fourth restless night this week. The answer is quite simple.

Everything.

It was the summer before senior year. For the first time since kindergarten, Jake was scared. After the incidents of last year (the Halloween party, his breakup with Christine and Chloe, the fire, his broken legs, his physical therapy, the list goes on), he finally had a chance at a fresh start. He was no longer Jake Dillinger, star athlete and King of Middleborough High School. He was a changed man. He saw what life was like for the people he thought of as the peasants in his kingdom. He became one of them.

After fighting through the remainder of the year in a wheelchair and on crutches, and then weakly walking around for the last two months as he built up his strength again, he had finally gotten better. The only problem is, better for Jake wasn’t enough. He wasn’t working perfectly anymore. He was just functional. He was the superhero action figure with the rotating joints that you had as a kid. The one you loved and played with so much that the leg broke off. No biggie, your dad could fix it. But fixing it meant supergluing it back together. The joint didn’t move anymore so playing with it wasn’t the same. You lost interest. That’s what Jake felt like. Everyone lost interest in him because he couldn’t do what he used to.

He fell in the middle of the food chain. Going back to school after falling so far down was going to be hard. He lost a good 75% of his “friends”. He uses that word very lightly seeing as they only wanted him for his baller parties and to build up their own popularity. He still had Brooke and Chloe and even Jenna. He still had Rich too, but so much has changed between them since that night. They have had to build up a friendship from the ground up again. But Jake didn’t mind. It’s better than losing him all together.

With their new friendship, Rich stopped hiding so much about himself. He didn’t care about anyone’s opinions anymore, he just wanted to be happy. He let his guard down, and now Rich lisps again, and he smiles more, and he talks about things that actually matter. He still has terrible fashion sense, and that god awful streak in his hair, but he likes it. He doesn’t care what anyone has to say. Jake could honestly say he liked this Rich better.

This _‘Rich Goranski: Now With a New and Improved Formula!’_ had also brought some things into light for Jake. He had come out as bisexual. Frankly, it was annoying at first. Not because Jake minded his sexuality, but because he would announce it every five minutes. When the theatrical announcements finally died down and they had a real, serious talk, Jake found that he had a lot more in common with the new Rich.

Yes, this meant he liked boys too. At least he was pretty sure. It hasn’t exactly happened yet, but he’s not against it if it does. Boys were good looking, and he found someone like Rich much easier to get along with than someone like Chloe. She was a pain in the ass. Jake thought that he would probably do well with a boyfriend.

Now, Jake is not like Rich in the sense that he’s gonna go around announcing it to everyone he passes in the halls. However, he told himself that if the subject comes up, come clean. He’s not gonna hide anymore. He doesn’t have a reputation to maintain.

Jake really wished he could be more like Rich sometimes. He wished he didn’t care so much about what people think.

But, here was The Great Jake Dillinger, hopping in the shower at 5:03 AM on the first day of senior year, after spending the whole night caring about what people think.

This was gonna be a wild ride.

********

He was right. The first day was no fucking picnic. In fact, it felt like it was his last meal on death row.

Everyone stared at him as he walked through the hallway, and suddenly he was much more aware of the slight limp he had. But it wasn’t the type of staring he usually got. This one was all judgement laced with a hint of pity. He wasn’t expecting to be worshipped but this was a little harsh. Jake wasn’t greeted by anyone. Not a “Hey! How was your summer?” or even a “Hello” for that matter. The first time anyone spoke to him was when someone bumped into him. And all it was was a quick “Oop! Sorry.” As if they didn’t know who he was. He was Jake Goddamn Motherfucking Dillinger. But honestly Jake had no idea who the kid was either so they were probably new. But still. Jake thought he would still radiate confidence and people would sense it, even if they tried to ignore it.

He just... didn’t.

So he spent the rest of the day in the back of classrooms, hunched over his desk instead of his usual spread out stance that demanded attention. The worst part? Jake could feel the stares. He could feel that his classmates knew exactly what they were doing. They knew that they were belittling him and slowly chipping away at the confidence he worked hard to build up again. All of his progress was for naught.

He couldn’t wait to get home. And the feeling continued through lunch, where he sat with Rich and Brooke (Chloe was off flirting with the new quarterback). Even around people who actually cared about him, he still felt inadequate. The voice in his head kept telling him that he wasn’t good enough anymore, that he had peaked in his early junior year of high school, his life was all downhill from here. Jake wondered when he would start balding. Surely that’s just around the corner.

Alas, despite his wishes, the day continued. It wasn’t until Jakes last period, Practical Fucking Physics, that someone actually sat next to him. Sure, it was the last available seat, but Jake sensed a bit of fear coming from the kid, as if he still felt threatened by his quickly dying popularity.

Jake smirked to himself and slowly leaned back, going into his old sitting position. Poised and confident. It made him feel powerful and strong.

“Now, class,” began the teacher. “These will be your assigned seats for the rest of the year, so I hope you chose wisely.” Her nasally announcement was met by groans of disapproval from around the room, but when Jake looked over at the kid sitting next to him, he could see the anxiousness on his face as he tried to avoid eye contact.

Jake had a quick internal battle about whether to assert dominance or try to make a friend. If he did the former, he would feel more like a king, or at least a steward, again. But if he’s being honest with himself, he would rather do the latter. Having more than four friends would probably help just as much, if not more.

So it’s decided. Jake holds out his hand to the kid sitting next to him. “Jake. That’s me.” He says with a grin. The kid looks at him in disbelief.

“Uh, yeah. I know.” He mutters before putting his hand in Jakes and shaking it. “I’m Michael. And uh, people don’t really shake hands anymore.”

Jake couldn’t help but grin a little at that. “Well I do.” He puts his hands in his jacket pockets and takes another look at Michael. He seemed to be calming down a little now that he knew Jake wouldn’t kill him. However, he was definitely still tense.

And despite how terrible it sounds, Jake was happy with that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2 - kind of a filler but its also important so deal
> 
> hopfully chapter 3 will be up today too and thats where things get fun and fresh >:)

After long days full of stares and nudges on the shoulder, Jake could always find comfort in his last period. Sure, the class fucking sucked but he had made a new friend. Kind of. Acquaintance. 

Michael Mell was Jake's real fresh start. It wasn't like his fresh start with Rich. This time it was an entirely new person that he could make new connections, new memories with. Jake could wipe the slate of his past clean and begin drawing a new picture for Michael to see. He didn't have to hide anything if he didn't want to. It felt good. 

Jake learned a few fun facts about his newfound buddy. One, he doesn't like nicknames, no matter how creative Jake's were. Two, he listens to music as often as he can. When the teacher isn't lecturing, or when they are doing independent work, he always has his headphones on. Hell, he even waits until the teacher starts to move her lips to take them off when class starts. Now  _that_ is a commitment to your craft. 

Another thing Jake learned is that Michael is actually really, really good at physics, he just couldn't give less of a shit about it. ("gravity is the only thing I need to understand, and I do, so what's the point?"). Jake is the total opposite. He really needs to do well or there is no way he will get into a good school. Unfortunately, he doesn't do well. He does really,  _really_ bad, actually. Thank god Michael helps him.

Another thing Jake learned is less of a fun fact and more of a sad fact. He also didn't learn it from Michael, he learned it from his own observations. Michael has his guard up. And we aren't talking about a little caution when getting to know people. It's more of a full-scale, overprotective-of-his-feelings-to-the-point-where-he-literally-has-one-friend kind of deal. It's nearly impossible to get anything out of him, and you can't just straight up ask him either. you need to dance around the subject and sneakily get it out. It's a long process. But it's necessary is you want to get more out of him than small talk. 

One day, when Jake walks in, he notices that something is off about Michael. He's still got his headphones on, his hood up, and a blank stare, but normally when Jake walks in he gets at least a glance thrown at him. But this time, he's staring straight ahead, not looking at anything in particular. Even when Jake sits next to him and nudges his shoulder, all he does is stare into the abyss. 

Jake purses his lips for a moment before he reaches up and pulls down Michael's hood. 

Bad idea.

Michael pushes his headphones down and directs his gaze toward the taller boy, and holy shit. Jake never understood the expression "if looks could kill" until this moment. 

"What do you want?" Michael said coldly.

Jake just shrugged, trying to seem casual and nonchalant "I was just trying to say hello." With that, Michael went to put his headphones back on, scoffing and shaking his head. Jake reaches out and gently grabs his wrist. "Dude, whats the problem? Why are you so pissy today?"

Michael rips his wrist out of Jake's grip and looks him down again. "Look, if you wanna be civil that's fine with me since we are stuck together all year, but if you think that we are gonna be buddy buddy best fucking friends because we have to work on a few labs together, you're sadly mistaken." He huffs out a tiny breath at the end, as if that took a lot out of him to say. 

Jake smirks a bit and leans against the table, staring directly into Michael's eyes "Why is that?", to which the other boy just shook his head. 

"Look, you and I both know how high school works. It's a four year class system and if we try to be anarchists about it, we only get shoved further down," Michael explains, a pessimistic quality in his voice."I know you wont lose much, but some of us don't have enough room beneath us to risk that. I just wanna survive." 

Jake clicks his tongue a couple times before he thinks of a response. "I don't know if you've noticed, but you are one of about five people who talk to me anymore. Ever since what happened last year, I barely exist." He laughs a little. "Excuse me for wanting to make a new friend since I lost all of my other ones."

Michael looks away, defeated. "We've both got dirty laundry, but I'm not about to air mine out in front of the whole school." He begins to play with loose threads in from the holes in his jeans. 

"No one asked you to."

"Well you haven't exactly been the nicest to me in the past. So how am I supposed to know that you're not gonna tell to everyone?" The boy inquired. 

Jake kept his eyes on Michael, sighing a little. "You don't," he shrugged, "but you're gonna have to trust me."

The rest of the class was a blur. Jake was so caught up in what Michael had said to him that he couldn't register the teachers words. Was he that much of an asshole that he didn't remember his targets? He doesn't even really remember directly targeting anyone. He just kind of had that "don't fuck with me" essence that put people off of him, but also drew them in. God, he misses that. He misses being popular, as shallow as it may sound. He misses the attention and people looking up to him and people wanting to get to know him just because so many people already do. 

On the other hand, he knows that he didn't do a very good job of getting to know all of them. He knew which ones mattered and which ones were just using him. At least he thought he knew. Jake wasn't really sure of anything anymore. 

Except for one thing. He was determined to get to know Michael. He wanted to know all about this dirty laundry he spoke of, and he wanted to be able to trust him with his. He could sense that the two of them would get along, even if it has been a rocky start. 

He knows. He can _feel_ it. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one and the next one are where the meat of the story is 
> 
> enjoy >:)))
> 
> PS !! when u see rich use the word "pops" early on in the chapter, its short for "popular people"

Spirit Week had always been one of Jake's favorite times of the school year. Something about dressing up and making a fool of yourself all week while everyone else does the same just made him giddy. He loved all of the stupid costumes people wore, especially the teachers. They always tried to be funky and hip with the teens, but it just made them look idiotic. Jake adored it. He won a couple of the costume contests throughout the years, his crowning glory being Pennywise for movie character day.

You can imagine the look of disappointment on Rich's face when he was decked out from head to toe in red, white, and blue gear for America day and Jake showed up in the same old getup he always wears.

"Dude?! Did you forget it was spirit week?" Rich exclaimed as he approached his best friend. "Do you want my tutu and sunglasses? Bandanna? I feel like still have enough to win so you can take-"

"I'm not feeling it this year."

Rich just stares, jaw slack. "Oh. Why?"

"I'm not gonna win. What's the point?" Jake shrugs and begins walking to his locker. 

Rich followed. "Uhm, hello! Where's your spirit? It's fucking spirit week and Jake Dillinger never passes up an opportunity to make himself the center of attention!" Rich slams Jake's locker closed as soon as he gets it open, obviously determined to get his friend to talk to him. Jake didn't know what the big deal was. It wasn't like he was moping around and listening to My Chemical Romance. He wasn't in a depressive slump or anything, he just didn't feel up for it. 

"Rich, it's not that big of a deal okay? Let it go." He went to open his locker back up, only to have it slammed again by the shorter boy. 

"Not that big of a deal?" Rich scoffs and crosses his arms. "Well, you better make it a big deal, Mister, because Jenna said that Brooke told her that Chloe and the rest of the pops are organizing something big for homecoming." Rich raised his eyebrows a few times from behind his festive glasses.

Jake laughed out loud, mostly out of pure sarcasm, as he went to open his locker one more time. "And?" 

Rich dropped his jaw and slammed the door shut yet a-fucking-gain. "And?! Dude, this could be the Jake Dillinger Revival!" Jake scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Say what you will, but I think they are gonna get you your deserving title of Homecoming King."

If he is completely honest, the though does excite Jake just a tad. "And you think me being spiritual during spirit week is gonna help?"

"Jesus Christ, how dumb are you?" Rich asked, taking his shades off. "Look, the people are gonna vote for someone who they think represents the school. If you show up in dirty jeans and a plain t-shirt, you really think you're gonna stand out and get their votes? Fuck no!"

Jake frowns at the comment, "My jeans are clean, you fucking baby rat."

Rich sighs and slides out from between Jake and the lockers. "Suit yourself, Jakey-D. But think about it," he begins to walk away, slipping the glasses back on. "I'm right and you know it."

Jake turned back towards his locker, his grin slowly fading. He did know it. 

********

It was now Thursday and Jake was decked out in his Tacky Tourist day get-up, complete with a bright pink fanny pack he borrowed from Jenna. He was really glad Rich had given him that pep talk, because the last three days have been so much fun, He really blossomed and forgot to care about what everyone else thought of him. Besides, they were all dressed up as stupidly as he was, so why bother with worrying?

Last period came along and Jake really felt inspired by his outfit. He wanted to make Michael laugh today. Sure he has laughed at things Jake said before, but it was never his intention to do so. This time, he was determined. 

He stopped in the door way, bending his knees and pushing his hips forward, his thumb looped around the fanny pack. His other hand grabbed hold of his straw hat and took it off of his head slowly. He made direct eye contact with the boy in the back, making his eye twitch as he spread a creepy smile over his face. He slowly bounced/walked towards him, putting all of the emphasis in his pelvis. "Howdy pardner." he said with a wink.

Michael, while looking like he was going to vomit, was grinning. "What the ever-loving fuck is that?" He took off his headphones and looked Jake up and down. "You know, the Hawaiian shirt really takes away from the cowboy vibe. So do the compression socks. You know what, you just look a mess." 

“I was trying to make you laugh!” Jake put his hat back on and laughed, pulling his chair out to sit. "I think I should wear this thing more often," he motioned to the fanny pack, "it holds everything I need!" 

Michael visibly winced, obviously opposed to the idea. "I would never talk to you again."

"You barely talk to me now."

"Touche."

Jake kicked his dad-sneaker clad feet up onto the table in front of them and leaned back in his chair. "Hey," he began, "Have you been working on your senior research paper? That thing is kicking my ass. How are we supposed to write that whole thing in two weeks? Like, I don't even have a topic yet and I'm down to eight days to get it done."

"You haven't picked a topic?" Michael looked stunned. "Dude, this thing has to be ten pages minimum, how are you gonna write it  _and_ do research in one fucking week?"

"I haven't been inspired!"

"Well get inspired or you will have detention until you finish it!"

"Whats yours about?"

Michael bit his lip and looked down. "Oh, uh... You will probably think it's stupid." 

"Bet." Jake retorted. 

While he rolled his eyes, Michael let out a sigh. "I don't think its gonna inspire  _you_."

"Try me." Jake smirked. "And lose to 'tude. dude."

"Okay, so its on the history of the LGBT rights movement, and like, the most influential events and people and stuff." He looked to Jake for a reaction. "And if you make fun of me I will literally kick your sack so hard that you won't think of anything but the pain for three week-"

"Woah, calm down." Jake put his hands up in defense, pulling his legs down from the table, "Why would I make fun of you?"

"You're a straight, white popular jock. I'm a nerdy gay Asian kid." Michael said it so matter-of-factly, it almost made Jake wince, "You do the math"

Jake wanted to tell him that he was wrong, but it took him a minute figure out a way to say it without sounding so... well, gay. "Uh, have you met my best friend? You know, the one who can't go three seconds without telling someone he's bi?" Michael looked down at his lap. "Yeah, don't make assumptions that you can't back up with concrete evidence." There, now it sounds like he was just talking about Rich. He wasn't. Jake laughed and gently ruffled Michael's hair. It wasn't exactly planned, he just kind of did it. He wasn't sure why.

"Fine. I'm sorry." Michael gave him a gentle smile.

Jake smiled back, and he couldn't help but notice just how... nice he looked when he smiled. It was so pure and his nose crinkled up. It was, dare-he-say, cute? Yeah. Michael Mell was cute when he smiled. There's nothing wrong with thinking that. Brooke was cute when she smiled too. Jake was just overthinking. 

"Mr. Dillinger. I'm sure there are many things that are more interesting to you than physics, but if you plan on passing this unit, I suggest you pay attention." Shit. Was he staring? Did his fucking nasally old teacher catch him staring at Michael Fucking Mell?

Jake snapped his head up and gave her the most sincere smile he could muster. "Yes, ma'am. Sorry." He heard a small snort from next to him and he looked over to Michael quietly laughing at him. 

"Fuck all the way off," Jake giggled, pushing Michael gently. "Hey, I meant to ask you earlier, are you going to Homecoming on Saturday?"

Michael gathered his thoughts and got himself together quickly. "Uh, yeah Jer and I were gonna go stoned, why?"

Jake smiled. "Just making sure. I want to have all of my friends there so I can have a stellar time."

"Ew. Who the fuck says 'stellar'?"

"I do, you little bitch."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahahahahaha i took the idea from glee 
> 
> sorry its kinda sad
> 
> and angry >:)))
> 
> also the f slur is used so 
> 
> enjoy sluts<33

Well, Jake could comfortably say that he thinks Rich was right. He had been nominated for homecoming king, and he had gotten lots of people who came up to him and said they were going to vote for him. It made him feel a lot better about his situation. 

The dance is loud and the music is trashy and so are the outfits, but that's the epitome of a high school dance right? He was having a blast anyhow, despite all the screaming cliches. He had spent most of the night with Brooke and Rich, who both looked adorable, might he add, but he couldn't help but keep an eye out for Michael and his lanky sidekick. 

Jake was pulled from his thoughts when a familiar beat began to play and Rich started screaming and pulling at Jake's arm. "Fuck yeah, baby!" The short one yelled. They both began to break it down, screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs. "I threw a wish in the well, don't ask me, I'll never tell, I looked to you as it fell, and now you're in my way." Rich turned around and began to dance with his back against Jake, and much to Jake's disgust and surprise, actually fucking twerked on him. And he wasn't half bad. He got some cheers from the crowd closest to them.

Brooke joined in at the chorus dancing giddy fucking circles around the two, pretending to throw cash on them. "Hey! I just met you, and this is crazy!" Jake was having a blast. Nothing could ruin tonight for him.

When the song was over, people were actually cheering, mostly in their general direction. But one voice in particular stood out to him. "You were killing it up there man, it was fucking stellar!" Michael Mell. 

To say he looked good was a bit of an understatement. He didn't even look all that fancy, he was just in a button down and some black jeans. However, the shirt was tight enough around his arms that you could see his muscles, his shoulders and biceps especially, and the sleeves were rolled up so you could see his forearms which looked _really_ good. Jake didn't care if it was a little gay, Michael looked like a snack.

"Thanks! I know that song by heart." Jake pulled Michael into a one armed hug. "Did you just get here? I haven't seen you all night."

"Yeah, but Jer and I already voted for you, like, before we came here." Michael grinned. It was dopey and big, not like the ones Jake was used to seeing. 

Jake pulled him closer so he could speak at a normal volume into Michael's ear, "How high are you?"

"Like a kite, baby! This was the best idea ever!" He laughs.

He begins dancing, and soon Jeremy is behind him, tapping his shoulder. "I'm gonna go find Christine and try to dance with her!" He yelled.

Jake saw a tiny flash of worry pass over Michael's face, but he quickly wiped it away. "Oh. Yeah, do that! But don't be too long!". Michael looked back at Jake after Jeremy had gone. "Uhh, do you mind if I stay with you until he gets back. I'm gonna be honest I'm not good with crowds if I'm alone. I get panicky."

"Yeah, of course man, come dance with us!" Jake took the other boys wrist and dragged him to where Brooke and Rich were slow dancing. To a fast song. And Brooke was leading. Typical, but still beautiful. 

Brooke was the first one to notice Michael, bless her heart. "Hey! Michael, right?" In response, he just nodded. He was clearly a bit shaken up by Jeremy leaving. He was probably his rock, now that Jake thought about it.

Rich untangled himself from Brooke and came over to Michael, taking the lead this time and waltzing him in circles. Thankfully Michael giggled, despite the slight awkwardness. Jake had a feeling that tonight would be a great stepping stone to getting Michael woven in with his other friends. 

"Alright ladies and gentlemen!" boomed a voice, interrupting the music, "Now is the time... to reveal... your Homecoming Royalty! Would all of the nominees please come up on stage, princes and kings on the left and princesses and queens on the right."

Jake glanced at Michael and gave him a look, mouthing 'sorry!' before walking up to the stage. Shit, if this wasn't terrible timing, he didn't know what was.

The Princess and Prince crowning took forever, since there were three before they got to the King and Queen, and Jake's legs were already tired from dancing. He didn't know if he was gonna be able to stand up here for much longer. His right knee began to shake and twitch, so he tried to suavely bend it so it didn't go stiff on him. That would suck. 

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, they just had the King and Queen nominee's left on stage. A couple of the princesses left the stage crying. Dramatic bitches. Over on the other side, he saw Chloe, Madeline, and a girl Jake had honestly never seen in his life, but apparently her name is Karen. And up with Jake, there were two other football players, Dustin and Finn. "And so ladies and a gentlemen, your senior homecoming king is..." The announcer paused as he opened the envelope. "Jake Dillinger!" Jake felt a wave of shock rush over him as the crowd burst into applause. Rich was right! This must have been what he was talking about. God fucking bless the pops! Maybe they don't hate him as much as he thought. 

Jake came forward and was crowned, the plastic material looked cheap but Jake was overjoyed. He stayed up on stage, looking back to give Chloe a wink. He had a strong feeling she was gonna win. They weren't dating anymore, nor does he ever want to again, but he loves her. This would be great for her. She gave him a wink back, and it looked a little sly. Jake's first thought was that she loaded the ballot boxes, but he was interrupted by the announcer. "And your senior homecoming queen is..." Another pause. The crowd waited expectantly. You could almost hear a pin drop. 

The announcer looked at the name on the card and pursed his lips before reading it out loud. "Michael Mell." 

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit,  _shit._ So this is what the pops were _actually_ cooking up. Those fucking assholes. 

Jake looked out across the silent audience, everyone looking back at Michael as he tried to secretly leave. It didn't work. Instead he quickly turned around and bolted out the door. 

"Michael!" He heard a voice yell, followed by Jeremy running out after him. Jake followed as quickly as he could, but unfortunately, jumping off of a stage with bum legs isn't a good idea. When Jake landed, his knee gave out and he fell to his hands and knees, his crown falling off his head. "Fuck, ow." He mumbled, trying to get himself back up.

He saw Rich rushing over to help him, but he was too angry to deal with him right now. "Jake, Jake are you okay?" He asked, but Jake just pushed him out of the way and stood up on his own. He was in pain and he couldn't run very fast  _and_ he was limping, but that didn't matter. He was furious and he had to find Michael to apologize.

It took him a couple minutes, but eventually he found the two boys on a secluded bench at the end of a hallway. "Michael, you have to calm down." He heard Jeremy say. 

Jake stood a good distance in front of them, and he hated what he saw. Michael was visibly shaking, even from such a far distance. He was breathing heavily, and his face held a weird mixture of anxiety and anger. His fists were balled up on his thighs, his thumb in the middle, likely so he had sometime to grasp on to. Jake found himself slowly moving closer to them, the words on the tip of his tongue. "Oh my god, Michael I'm so sorry-"

"Fuck you! You think that was funny?" Michael yelled, getting up from the bench and coming towards Jake despite Jeremy's efforts to keep him back. "You think its fucking hilarious to befriend the stupid nerdy gay kid and get him to trust you and open up to you about things he has only ever told one person in his life? You think its hysterical to work hard until hes actually vulnerable enough to trust you with his fucking mental disorders for Christs sake, and then embarrass him in front of the whole fucking school?" Michael was in Jake's face now, and Jake didn't want to stop him. He felt like he needed to get this off his chest. "Huh? And even after all the bullshit you said about Rich, you fucking asshole.” Ouch. “You sounded like you actually could overlook someone’s sexuality, but you’re just like all of the rest of them. You think being ignorant is gonna gain you back all those fake fucking assholes you used to call friends?" Ouch. "You think you're gonna climb your way back up the food chain? Newsflash asshole! I'm a human fucking being with feelings! You're not allowed to toy with them by pulling some bullshit homophobic stunt like that! 'Oh, you know what would be funny? Lets nominate the weird faggot for homecoming queen! That'll be a hoot and a half! Fucking queenie, right?' Fuck! You!" Michael was sobbing by the end of it, and if he weren't yelling so loud it would be impossible to hear him.

He had collapsed on the floor in front of Jake and Jeremy came rushing to his side. "You need to leave. Right the fuck now." he said, almost in a threatening way. 

"I will," Jake began, "but before I do, I just want you both to know that I," his voice broke a little, "had absolutely nothing to do with that. I had no fucking idea that they had that bullshit trick up their sleeves." he had tears streaming down his face, but everyone here did so he didn't really care. "I would never,  _ever_ do something like that to someone. And I'm so fucking sorry that happened to you. I'm so sorry." Jake wiped his face and sniffled, before trying to fix himself up again. He wanted to tell them both that he wasn't the meathead straight guy they make him out to be, but he knew it wasn't the time. He glanced at Jeremy, who was looking at him like he didn't know whether to hurt him or hug him. 

Michael on the other hand, shit Michael was a wreck. He was curled up, leaning against the wall, his body stuttering and flinching with every breath he took. 

"I'm so sorry." Jake whispered one last time before turning and leaving, a blank stare on his face as he walks down the hallway to where Rich was waiting for him.

As terrible as it is to say, the first thought that came to mind was that Jenna Rolan has probably already posted the whole thing on every social media site that exists. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome back
> 
> theres not enough wonderfully written platonic rich jake stuff out there because everyone tries to turn it into romance OOPS thats the tea sry bout it
> 
> so here are some loving and affectionate best friends because men are allowed to have emotions and feel deep loving connections to other men without it being romantic
> 
> thank u for ur time enjoy >:))

Jake had spent the weekend with Rich. He didn't want to be alone, but he didn't want to be social with anyone either, so Rich came over. They barely even talked for the entire stay, they just were in each others presence and that was just what Jake needed. He just needed someone there for him, but not a shoulder to cry on. He got that out of the way just after the whole ordeal went down. 

_"Why the fuck are the pops so determined to push everyone who is beneath them down?"_

_"Why cant they just let people be, don't they have enough power?"_

_"Rich, I think I might like him a little, and now everything is fucked and he hates me for something that wasn't even my fault!"_

_"Why does everyone always leave me?"_

_"First my parents, then Christine, then my fucking house and car, and then Chloe, and then my football scholarship, and then those assholes who used to adore me and Jesus Fucking Christ now this?"_

_"No one really loves me."_

_"What the fuck is so wrong with me that not even my asshole parents wanted to stay with me?"_

_"Jake, I think you need to sit down-"_

_"Why didn't I die in that fucking fire?"_

So, lets just say that Jake wasn't exactly in an ideal state (neither were his knuckles or the tree in his front yard that he punched), and he didn't think Rich wasn't going to leave him alone even if he wanted to. 

It was Sunday afternoon, and Jake had just woken up. Rich was ready with a cup of coffee made just how he liked it. They sat there in comfortable silence on Jake's bed, listening to the faint sound of September rain drizzling onto the roof. Jake drinking his coffee, and Rich laying with his head on Jake's shoulder, tracing patterns on the comforter.

"Hey, Jake?" Rich piped up, not moving from his spot. "You know, when you said that no one loves you last night, it kind of hurt. I know it was a spur of the moment, emotion fueled outburst, but I want you to know that it isn't true." Rich sat up now, looking at the taller boy as he stared into his coffee cup for all of life's answers. "I love you, Jakey-D. I love you so much and I am one hundred percent certain that Brooke loves you too." Jake looked up and gave him a weak smile. "And I know this is a touchy subject, but if Michael didn't give at least two shits about you, he wouldn't have gotten so angry. He was hurt because he liked you and he trusted you, and even though you didn't do it, what happened to him fucking sucked, and you were the only one he could find to blame."

Rich went back to leaning on his best friends shoulder, and Jake wrapped his arm around him, kissing the top of his head. "I love you too, Rich. You really are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

And it was true. Jake didn't know what he would do without Rich. He was his rock, much like Jeremy was to Michael. Maybe not to the most extreme but Jake still depended on Rich for so much, and he knew that Rich did the same. They had been through so much together, and there were so many things, both in his mind and coming from other people, telling Jake to just ditch Rich because of what he did. Jake couldn't do it though. He knew the whole story. He knew how bad Rich had gotten. He understood the pressure he was under and how unhealthy that pressure could be. He knew why it all became too much. So instead, they made a promise together. They promised to be more like themselves, their  _true_ selves, mostly around each other, but also out in the world. They both knew they would be friends for life after those few months. If they could get through that, they could get through anything. 

Another thing they promised to do was to always tell each other how they feel, no matter what. That's why their friendship has grown so much. They don't hide anything. They couldn't if they tried. Jake isn't afraid to show his real feelings around Rich. He wasn't afraid to tell him that he loved him or tell him if something was bothering him. He could really trust him with anything. They had gotten so close over the summer. They spent nearly every day together, just being real and honest, even when it hurt to be. 

Everyone deserves a friendship like that, and Jake felt so lucky that he had one.

********

Monday at school, well... It was certainly a Monday. It was more like a Monday multiplied by a million, that's how awful it was. It really fucking sucked.

Everyone had seen what went down on Saturday night. Everyone had succeeded in mentioning that to Jake. They also seemed to always mention the terrific fall Jake took. He couldn't have thanked them enough for reminding him that he was weak. 

When lunch came around, Jake had begun to walk toward his usual table, when the secluded table in a corner caught his eye. A flash of red and blue against the ugly walls of the cafeteria. Jake looked over to see Rich and Brooke giggling together, a vast contrast to Michael and Jeremy's solemn air. 

Jake turned around and began walking towards the latter table, Jeremy being the first to notice the approaching boy. He nudged Michael, who looked up, an expression on his face Jake couldn't read. 

"Can I sit? I want to talk with you. Both of you." 

Silence. 

Then came a small nod from Michael.

Jake set down his tray and took a deep breath. "Look, about what happen-"

"I believe you." Michael interrupted. Jake just looked between the two of them, confused about what to say. "I watched the video so many times. You looked so... upset when they said my name. And then you jumped off the stage to come after me. You let me scream at you and make assumptions without getting angry back and you sounded so sincere when you apologized. You... you couldn't have known." Michael looked up at Jake for the first time since he started talking. He looked so fucking sad, but he was smiling at him. 

Jake sat there, a bit stunned for a moment. "I thought you hated me." He mumbled. "I really did. I've been beating myself up about what I could have done better to make you certain that it wasn't me. I couldn't think of anything. I didn't know what else to do. I don't think you understand how fucking good it feels to know that you believe me."

Michael pushed the hood of his sweatshirt down, bringing his hands up to rub his eyes under his glasses. “Don’t make me fucking regret it.” He said, sarcasm laced with truth. 

Jake looked down at the greasy table they were sitting at, his mind running a mile a minute. “Look, I feel like I should tell you guys something. The other day, Michael said that I was a straight, white, popular jock and that he was a nerdy, gay, Asian kid.” He looked at them expectantly. “Uh, only one out of four of those things is still true, and obviously I haven’t changed races.” He folded his hands under his chin and glanced between them. 

“Jake, you just won homecoming king, of course you’re still popular,” Jeremy began, obviously a little confused. 

Michael on the other hand, Michael gets it right away. “You’re LGBT?” he also looks puzzled. 

All Jake could do was nod and shrug. “I mean, I’ve never dated a boy or even had a real crush on one before,” Not entirely a lie, right? “So I guess I’m not really sure what I am, but I’m pretty sure it’s not straight.” Jake couldn’t even look at the other two anymore. He didn’t want to know what their faces looked like. 

“I’m so sorry, Jake.” Michael piped up, “I said so many things to you on Saturday, shitty things. I had no idea.” 

Jake shook his head. “No! It’s totally fine, I get why you were angry. Something shitty happened to you, and I was a change in your life that you could almost directly connect to it. I agree, it looked really bad.” Jake thought for a minute, wondering why it was even funny for the pops to go to such a low point to make a joke. Homophobia isn’t cute, and he didn’t think that they were getting that desperate. “I’m just glad you believe me.” Jake forced a small smile. 

He looked over to Jeremy, seeing that he looked uncomfortable. "I'm guessing I still haven't won you over, huh?"

Jeremy shrugged. "If Michael is good, I'm good." He said, obviously trying his hardest.

Oh well. Jeremy was another project for another time. He was just happy that Michael was alright. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me projecting a little lmao oops
> 
> jake loves britney and you can die mad about it
> 
> >:))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Physics had become Jake Dillinger's favorite class of the day. Even through the boring labs and the teachers gross voice, Jake found the class to be so intriguing, and he couldn't pinpoint why.

Well, he could, he just would never admit it.

Michael had an aura about him that had Jake absolutely hooked. He managed to make the worlds most boring subject bearable, not that Jake paid very much attention to the class. He mostly just focused on his table mate.

While his grade wasn't thriving, Jake sure was. He loved getting to know Michael better. He was actually open and honest with him now. Jake had learned that his favorite food was lumpia, a Filipino food one of his moms makes. Michael also loved to sing, but he was scared to do it in front of anyone. He was also a big fan of David Bowie and Freddie Mercury, not only because of their music, but because they are iconic bisexual men loved by just about everyone. Jake was definitely going to have to look into them more.

They once talked for an entire class instead of doing their group work, and Jake had shared quite a few things with Michael too. He told him the story of how his cat, Chuckles, was rescued. He was left in a mailbox in the middle of the summer, but he's a happy and loving old man now. He also got a little emotional when he spoke about how his parents reacted to what happened last Halloween, which was not at all. They just sent him a check for ten thousand dollars of illegal money for the hospital bills. Not even a call or so much as a get well soon card.

They were finished talking after that.

But, all in all Jake found Michael to be one of the most interesting people he had ever met. He was just so... Michael.

Their friendship was brought to a whole new level one day. Jeremy had a dentist appointment and wasn't in school, so of course Michael was already on edge. Apparently being in the middle of a political discussion in history class with some of the most ignorant assholes in the school isn't a great way to avoid a panic attack.

Jake got out of his class as fast as he could, meeting Michael at the same bench from homecoming. It must be his go-to spot.

When he arrived, Michael was a mess. He was obviously trying to calm himself down, but that didn't take away from the fact that he looked so angry, and hurt, and well... panicky. His eyes were red and he was shaking pretty severely. Jesus, when will this kid catch a break?

Jake approached him slowly and took a seat next to him. "Hey," he placed his hand gently on Michael's shoulder, who immediately pulled away. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Um," began the jittery boy, "You know how Finn and his gang all drive loud trucks and disrespect their girlfriends?" he inquired, beginning to bounce his leg. "Well it was kind of like watching that but like, a lot fucking worse. I felt like they were going out of their way just to object to everything I said. Most of their arguments made no sense, and they were just fucking scary and rude." He rubbed his eyes with his sweatshirt sleeves. Jake knew exactly what he was talking about. Those guys were conservative trash who held no real values. "They got mad at me because I said that the current gun control laws weren't strict enough. They literally were so disrespectful and I just had to sit there and take it because I'm fucking weak and I-"

"Hey, hey shh..." Jake had read somewhere that pulling someone into a tight hug would help, so that's what he tried to do, and at first Michael fought a little, but he quickly gave in and buried himself into Jake. He could feel as Michael's shaking began to subside and his breathing started to flow in time with his own. He sputtered a few times and lost track, but he got it back. After about three minutes of sitting there holding him, Jake loosened his grip. "Don't let those narrow minded cock sleeves get in your way, okay? They don't know how to think about anyone but themselves. You're _way_ better than them." Jake had said this while looking directly into Michael's eyes. He kind of glanced around a bit, but Jake could tell he was trying. "You good?"

"No," he stated, "but I'm better. Thank you." He took a deep, albeit shaky, breath. "Sorry for breaking down on you. It would usually be Jeremy." 

Jake just shrugged. "I don't mind at all, you don't have to be sorry." He had to admit it kind of made him sad that Michael felt the need to apologize. He thought they were past that stage of things being awkward like that. Jake would have fully trusted Michael if the roles were reversed.

But they weren't reversed. Jake wasn't Michael, and Michael wasn't Jake. They deal with things differently. He had to live with that. 

"Hey, I know this isn't great timing," he said, "but how about we do something tonight? Just the two of us?" Jake gave a sincere smile, hoping Michael didn't mind the abruptness.

He had to admit, even if only to himself, that Jake liked Michael. He hasn't entirely fallen for him, but he is definitely stumbling, teetering on the edge. He really had to catch his balance. So of course, spending time alone with him doing things they actually like doing is the perfect way to do that, right?

Wrong. 

"Uh, what would we do?" Michael questioned.

"Uh, how about laser tag and shitty arcade pizza?"

"It's a date."

********

By the time the end of last period came along, both boys were hungry for pizza and ecstatic about laser tag. Michael had gotten better since the incident earlier and now he was just like a giddy fucking toddler. 

When the bell rang the two booked it for the doors, wanting to beat the after school rush of students. Michael beat Jake, but he would blame that on his bum legs. 

Michael's car was an old purple PT Cruiser, and for some reason, Jake couldn't picture him in a different car. It was perfect. Michael opened the (unlocked) back door and threw his bag in, encouraging Jake to do the same. "You leave your doors unlocked?" Jake asked. 

Michael lets out a laugh. "Tell me what someone would steal from a person who drives a PT Loser." He hopped into the drivers seat and started the engine. Immediately, music starts blasting. "Shit! Jesus Christ on a fucking stick, that was loud!" He yells as he turns it down. "Sorry dude." 

Jake took his hands away from his ears and cackles, "What was the purpose of having your music up so high at seven AM?" He pulled on his seat belt as he spoke, noticing how small the car felt compared to his old car, may she rest in peace. 

Michael shrugged and giggled (oh,  _wow_ ), "I guess I was just feeling music. Speaking of, you're in control, but if you play anything shitty, you are banned from making executive music decisions." He warned, looking surprisingly serious. 

Jake nodded in certainty. "Aye, aye, Captain." He immediately went to look for Britney Spears. "You're either gonna love this or hate this." He quipped, before beginning to energetically dance to the song. "I think I did it again, I made you believe we're more than just friends." The shocked look on Michael's face was only adding fuel to this fire so he kept going strong. Jake was  _feeling_ it. 

Michael even jumped in for the last chorus, dancing as much as he could while driving. Jake could tell that he had made a good choice. 

When they got to the arcade, it was just about as dead as an arcade could be at three in the afternoon on a Thursday. But that meant that the two had almost the whole place to themselves. The only people there were as old as they were or older. All young adults who could understand how serious laser tag is. No annoying children and no demonic twelve year olds.

Thank the fucking Lord. 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres time travel in this chapter

Remember when Jake said that he wasn’t falling for Michael, that he was just teetering, blah blah blah? Well, fuck all of that because Jake fell. He was actually still falling, and falling _fast_.

He guessed that it had happened when they went to the arcade. Michael was so excited about playing video games in a place other than his basement, and it was evident on his face. So, naturally, Jake didn’t do much but observe the boy. He was adorable when he was in this mood.

“Come on, you fucking bitch!” He had exclaimed a bit too loudly as he just missed beating the third highest score of all time. How cute. He always looked frustrated if he did one tiny thing wrong, and Jake loved that. He also was so fucking overjoyed whenever he did something successfully, which was quite often. That’s what really killed Jake, because it was Michael's pure happiness and Jake felt it in his heart.

God, he sounded like a soap opera.

And don’t even get Jake started on laser tag.

There weren’t enough people to play for teams, so it was every man for himself. Jake and Michael had started the first round off by playing the game how it was supposed to be played, but soon they got bored and just had a battle with each other to see who could shoot the other more. It was a mess of flashing lights and black-lit smiles. The event would replay itself in Jake's dreams that night. 

Jake had a lot of fun that night. It was the first time in a long time he just enjoyed himself without worrying about what people thought. 

After being dropped off at his own house, he couldn't help but reflect on the night. It wasn't perfect, but good god, that's what  _made_ it perfect. He walked to his bedroom and flopped face first into his bed, letting out a loud groan. "Shit, Mell. You fucking did it. You're my first crush on a boy." he said to absolutely no one. 

********

Halloween.

Jake knew it would  _never_ be the same, but he never expected to be anxious about it. There was no chance in hell Jake was throwing a huge party like he used to, but he even felt anxious inviting the people he actually cared about. They had all been over his house since last Halloween, as well, so Jake didn't understand why his brain was being so irrational. 

He had invited his four friends over (Rich, Brooke, Michael, and Jeremy) to have a little intimate get together before going trick or treating (while they could still pull it off). They had decided on going as the characters from _The Wizard of Oz_ way back around homecoming, and the characters just seemed to fit so well with their personalities. Rich was the Wizard, Brooke was Dorothy, Michael was the Cowardly Lion, Jeremy was the Tin Man, and Jake was the Scarecrow. They had all found costumes, aiming to be as close to the originals as they could. Brooke had said that they looked "unclockable" and while Jake didn't really understand what she meant, he couldn't have agreed more. Brooke also did everyone's makeup since they were all incapable, and that's what took up most of the "party". 

_"You're not putting that in my eye!"_

_"Calm down, Jeremy, you're being a baby."_

or,

_"Brooke, it burns!"_

_"No it doesn't, shut the fuck up, Jake."_

or Jake's favorite,

_"I look like the worlds most committed furry."_

_"Jeremy, you've got some competition."_

_"Shut your stupid mouth, Goranski."_

Spending time with them really made Jake feel a lot better about the holiday. 

The last thing they did before leaving to parade around the neighborhood was eat some good old edibles. That way, after they had come back from trick or treating and they had finally kicked in, they would have the rest of the night to spend high. The magical gummy worms were courtesy of Michael of course, and all he asked in return was free range of everyone's candy bags. Rich only protested for about three seconds before he realized that he was essentially getting high for free. 

There was one problem. They definitely underestimated how long trick or treating would take.

They  were all gone by the last twenty minutes, and Rich wouldn't shut the fuck up about the goddamned Ninja Turtles. Brooke on the other hand, she was quiet. Just smiling and happy. Jake kind of felt the same way as her, with the utmost adoration towards his friends. Jeremy was the complete opposite of everyone, silent and out of the conversation. Not because they weren't including him, but because he literally could barely talk. He seemed perfectly fine snacking on his Twizzlers and observing the rest of the crew. But Michael, oh good lord,  _Michael_ turned into the chatterbox of the century. He was just adding fuel to Rich's fire, but while Rich was speaking almost nonsense, Michael was analyzing everything Rich said and turning it around into plausible sentences. 

Jake really liked Michael. 

When they had gotten back into Jake's house, Rich immediately turned on the TV and begged to watch _Halloweentown_ , and Jeremy excitedly, albeit silently, agreed. Michael had stripped himself of the top half of his "fancy fursuit" and was left in just a white t-shirt. A pretty  _tight_ white t-shirt. The kind of tight white t-shirt that really accentuated his surprisingly well built biceps. It took all of Jake's self control to keep himself from staring for too long. He was so glad he wasn't in the same state as Rich was, because he wouldn't be able to shut up about Michael Mell. 

So instead he sat in the corner of his couch, smiling and admiring from the other side of the room, as Brooke was cuddled into his side. "You like him don't you?" She whispered, clearly being able to tell exactly what Jake was doing. 

Jake glanced down with a small grin and gently shoved her away. "Yes." He stated simply, "Keep your mouth shut."

"What do you like about him?" Brooke questioned, honestly curious (Jake had expected her to mock him, at least a little bit).

Jake took a look at Jeremy, who was just one couch cushion away. Luckily, he was heavily invested in the movie so Jake didn't have to worry about him too much. "Uh, like everything." he mumbled, watching as the boy in question continued his endless stream of conversations with Rich. Michael laughed out loud at something impeccably stupid Rich said, and Jake felt his heart swell. "There's something I  _really_ like." He revealed dreamily.

Brooke sat up with a devilish grin. "He's gay, you know." 

"Yeah, thanks Brooke but it doesn't take a detective to figure that one out. I already knew." 

"Just making sure, that's all." She went back to laying on Jake's shoulder, taking one of his hands in her own. "I think you should go for it." 

At that moment, Michael looked back at the two of them with a wide smile, but it quickly fell after he registered what he was looking at. 

Hold the fuck up. What was that about? 

Was that... disappointment in his eyes? 

Was Michael disheartened by seeing Jake holding Brooke's hand?

This could mean something big.

'Or maybe I'm just overreacting.' he thought to himself. 

When Michael got up to get a drink a few minutes later, Jake stood up and followed. He wasn't thirsty, but he had his detective hat on and he wanted to figure this out. 

"Hey." He said pulling himself up onto the counter next to where Michael was pouring himself a cup of Mountain Dew. 

He gave Jake one of this fake smiles that you give to people you know when you see them in the grocery store. "Hi." Sip. "Whats up with you and Brooke?" He asked, a look on his face that said 'I'm pretending to be facetious but I'm really interested in your answer for another reason'. 

Jackpot. 

Jake shrugged, grabbing his own Solo cup and filling it. "What do you mean?"

"You two seemed to be getting pretty close on the couch back there." He raised his eyebrows a couple times. 

"We're always like that. We are really close." Jake said as casually as he could. If this was flirting, Jake could hardly tell. It wasn't very convincing on either of their parts. He glanced over to meet Michael's eyes, which held an expression Jake couldn't name. It was somewhere between confusion and desire. "Why do you ask?" Jake wanted to turn this around, if they were gonna flirt tonight, he was going to do it  _right._  "You jealous?"

Michael rolled his eyes but was unable to hide the small smirk on his face. "Don't flatter yourself." He took a sip of his drink and faced away from Jake, leaning against the counter. 

Jake felt his heart beating faster at the realization that Michael was flirting back. Shit, was this really happening? "Then I'll flatter you." He said boldly, a rush of confidence going through him. 

"How do you plan on doing that?"

"You look amazing tonight."

Michael rolled his eyes again, "That's the best you could come up with?"

"I wasn't done," Jake said quickly. "You look really good. Your arms look fan-fucking-tastic. I don't know whether to be jealous or to drool all over them."

Jake noticed a warm flush of red cover the back of the boys neck and cheeks. "Puh-lease, have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You're drool-worthy one." He quipped before biting the edge of his cup. a bit nervous looking. 

Jake didn't know what to say next, because his eyes were fixated on the boys lips and they way his mouth moved. Well, what he could see from the awkward angle. No matter, it was still mesmerizing. He kept his gaze locked as the other's head turned towards him, only looking up into his eyes when his mouth moved away from his cup. 

They were both silent, just staring at each other for way longer than regular human beings should. Michael was the one who broke it, glancing down at the sodas between them. It wasn't long enough for Jake, who felt his face heating up to match Michael's. He kept his eyes on the other pair, ready for when they finally met as Michael looked back up at him. 

"What's going on?" Interrupted a voice that sounded way louder than it should have, causing both boys to jump. It was Jeremy, who had finally spoken his first words in two hours.

Michael pushed his hand through his hair, tousling it up.  _Nice._ "Nothing, just talking." He replied, his eyes toward the ground. "Nice to see you're human again." He laughed. 

Jeremy grinned and jumped up on the counter next to Jake. "Dude, I think I met Jesus tonight." He laughed. 

"Jeremy, you're Jewish."

"Who the fuck knows anymore?" 

Jake forced out a small laugh, pretending to be interested in the conversation for a bit before he slipped off the counter and back into the living room. He flopped on the couch and crawled towards Brooke. "We  _really_ need to talk later." he insisted, just above a whisper. Just after he finished, the other two boys walked in, laughing and giggling, Michael seeming totally un-phased by that had just gone down. 

Well, now Jake really didn't know how to feel about Halloween. 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love brooke she’s valid as fuck 
> 
> enjoy >:))))

**lohstbrooke** : jake wtf happened ???

 **lohstbrooke** : answer me

 **lohstbrooke** : JAKE

 **jakeyd** : it was the best and worst moment of my life

 **lohstbrooke** : what was

 **lohstbrooke** : i’m calling you

 

Jake’s phone screen was taken over by an immensely unattractive picture of Brooke with a double chin, signaling that she was indeed calling.

“Brooke...” He whined out, flopping back on his bed after answering.

_“Jake you need to tell me what’s going on! What the fuck is up with you?”_

It was the early hours of the morning on November 1st, and Jake was going crazy. Just a few hours ago, he had a life changing experience. A sexual awakening? No, a romantic awakening? Maybe. It sounds dumb.

God, even his mind is gayer than usual.

“Brooke, we were flirting. And like, it was hardcore flirting, like, I was talking about his beautiful arms and he was getting flustered, but then he turned it around to compliment me, and it we were making eye contact and it was just the most beautiful thing, Brooke!” Jake had a huge grin on his face, seeing as he hadn’t stopped thinking about those short moments since they happened.

 _“You and Michael?”_ She asked, _“When?!”_

“In the kitchen! It was beautiful, we are in love! We are gonna get married and get a dog and a little white picket fence-“

_“Jake, shut the fuck up and get it together.”_

“Right. Sorry.” Jake had been acting like a lovestruck puppy all night, and he was blaming it on being tired from the high, but he knew it was because of Michael. Michael fucking Mell made him swoon. No one makes Jake swoon! Jake makes other people swoon! Or at least that’s what he’s used to.

_“So he was flirting with you?”_

“Kind of. He saw us holding hands and cuddling and shit on the couch and he asked if we were a thing or whatever.”

_“Gross.”_

“Fuck you,” Jake said without missing a beat. “So I told him that we weren’t but then I asked him why he asked me that and if it was because he was jealous because I panicked and I didn’t know what else to say.”

Brooke snorted through the phone. _“That’s so basic and disgusting! I love that for you!”_

Jake grinned again. “But then, we started like, actually flirting! Like compliments back and forth and eye contact! God, the eye contact babe, I never thought someone’s eyes could drive me so wild.” Even the thought of them now made Jake’s heart pick up the pace.

 _“Well, then what?!”_ Brooke squealed.

Jake’s face fell. “Oh. That’s it. Jeremy walked in and then it was over.”

 _“Oh.”_ She sounded very disappointed. _“That’s it? That’s your big gay awakening?”_ She groaned. _“I thought you were gonna say you kissed him or something! Scarecrow and Lion are easily the gayest characters out of the whole Wizard of Oz! Glinda, too. She loves women. But still, it would have been so perfect! Why didn’t you go for it?”_

Jake scoffed and pulled a pillow up under his head. “Did you not hear me say that Jeremy walked in? He ruined our moment.” He thought for a moment. “You know, I think I totally would have gone for it, too. Fuck Jeremy.”

Brooke was clicking her tongue on the other end of the line, obviously deep in thought. _“Okay,”_ she began, _“here is what you are gonna do. Monday at school, you are gonna act super fucking chill about everything. You are gonna bring it up absolutely shamelessly! It really needs to be shameless or else you’re not gonna get him. You are gonna tell him that you would like to continue that conversation sometime on a proper date, and he will not be able to say no because you have that Dillinger charm! Got it?”_

No. Don’t got it. How was Jake supposed to be chill about it? He doesn’t know how to talk to boys! Not in the romantic sense at least. Was it really gonna be that different from girls though?

Yes, Jake. Michael is very different. He won’t appreciate some smooth talking asshole trying to pick him up. That’s not his style. Shit, what was Jake gonna do?

 _“Hello?”_ Brooke interrupted his thoughts. _“Do you have that? You can’t fuck this one up, babe!”_

“Yeah, sure. Got it. Thanks Brooke.”

_“Oh no prob-“_

Jake hung up. He had a lot of work to do.

He spent all of Sunday making sure that he had a foolproof plan of attack for confronting Michael. Jake didn’t see how it could fail!

He spent some time working on his appearance as well, considering he was gonna need all the help he could get. He knew he was attractive already, but he still wanted to put in a little more effort. He was trying to impress the boy after all.

So after pulling off a pore strip, plucking some stray hairs from his eyebrows, and picking out the perfect outfit, Jake felt ready for school.

Well, almost ready. He didn’t do his homework, but he didn’t care that much about it anyway.

Monday morning, Jake woke up bright and early, and he got himself ready. He was feeling cool and confident, ready for anything life threw at him. All he had to do now was wait for that _perfect_ moment.

The morning wouldn’t be the right time. Michael would be adorable and groggy and it would make Jake lose focus. But he didn’t want to wait until last block either, because he knew he would see him at other times throughout the day. Lunch seemed perfect as far as timing, but he didn’t know if he would be able to catch Michael alone and his feelings are not something he wants to announce to the entire cafeteria.

Jake was in a pickle. So much for foolproof.

By the time lunch actually did roll around, Jake saw Michael walking alone towards his usual table, with Jeremy no where in sight.

Shit. Here goes.

Jake made his way over to Michael, taking in the vibe he was giving off. It wasn’t necessarily an overjoyed one. He had his hood up and his headphones on, and he didn’t look even the slightest bit interested in the world around him. Hopefully, Jake could turn that around.

When he finally caught up with him, he took his headphones off and looked at Jake expectantly.

“Hi,” Jake began, his mind going blank.

Michael’s eyes darted around a bit, looking worried. “Hi?” He gave off an uncertain smile. “What’s going on?”

Jake cleared his throat and nodded. “I- I actually wanted to talk to you.” He licked his lips nervously. Goodbye confidence.

“Okay. Talk.” The boy sat down and began to eat his sandwich.

Jesus, why was this so hard?

“I wanted to talk to you about what happened in the kitchen on Halloween.” He let out a small sigh and avoided eye contact. He felt so nervous.

Michael however, Michael looked absolutely _careless_. “Oh, Jesus really?” He let out a small laugh. “Jake, that was nothing, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Wait.

“Worry? What would-“

“It was playful banter, we were both coming down from being super high, it really was nothing.” Michael brushed it off so easily. Did he really think nothing of it?

Jake’s heart sank.

He sputtered, looking around as if the walls would give him something to say. “Oh!” _Great_. “Yeah, no I just wanted to make sure.” He was doing his absolute best to not seem as crushed as he felt.

“Yeah,” Michael smiled awkwardly. “I don’t- I’m not into you. You really don’t have to worry about me thirsting over you or anything.” Why did his face have to look like _that_? He was treating it as if the idea of them liking each other was laughable. 

Fuck-shit-cunt-ass-shit-fuck- _dammit!_

“I didn’t think so!” He forced a laughed, pulling his bag tighter over his shoulders. Hopefully Michael wouldn't notice his white knuckles. “I just wanted to be sure. Thanks man!” He began to walk away, shooting Michael a couple finger guns as he left. 

Jake felt his head going dizzy, a pressure in his chest, and his eyes welling up. That hurt. _A lot_. It felt like someone took a huge rock and shoved it down his throat. It felt like someone just stole his favorite sweatshirt. It felt like he just got run over by an eighteen-wheeler.  He felt like he did when he was alone at two a.m. and his mind was wandered to his parents. He felt like complete shit.

He made his way quickly to the bathroom, doing his best to act like he didn’t hear Rich call his name from across the room. He couldn’t deal with people right now. He just had his heart shattered and he couldn’t do anything about it.

After locking himself in a stall, Jake let the tears fall. His jaw was clenched but his body and mind were completely relaxed, just replaying the encounter and letting the tears pour out of him. He didn’t wipe them away or do anything to call attention to the fact that he was crying. He didn’t sniffle or sob, or make any noise. He was alone with his thoughts and his tears.

If it had been any other situation, Jake probably would have called Michael. Michael knew what to do to help Jake feel better. He always told Jake that what he was feeling was okay, and that he didn’t have to feel embarrassed by the way his brain was working. He would tell him that it would be okay soon and that he could cry as much as he needed to.

But it wasn’t a different situation. This time, he was crying _because_ of Michael. He was crying because of the one thing that really helped him when he was upset. The one thing that always made him feel better just broke his world apart.

And Jake didn’t know how to deal with that.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its short but the next chapter will be goooood
> 
> enjoy >:))))))

Jake went home early that day. While walking home when it was literally freezing was idiotic, it sure beat the alternative. He would much rather develop a cold than have to see and talk to Michael. He would choose getting sick over getting his heart shattered (again) in an instant. 

When Jake woke up the next day and was actually sick, he regretted the prior statement. 

He didn't go to school on Tuesday. Instead, he sat in his bed and sulked. He didn't get up once, not even to eat. It's really easy to feel sorry for yourself when you're all alone and stuck in one spot for a long time. Jake was alone all the time, with his parents gone and all, but it wasn't until moments like this where Jake really felt lonely rather than alone. Being lonely sucked. 

After spending some time pondering this, he eventually felt himself falling back into his _bad_ thoughts cycle. 

_'Not even my parents love me enough to stay, why would he even like me?'_

_'God, I'm so over dramatic, I need to get over it.'_

_'But I can't help it if my life is shit right now. I deserve to be sad, don't I?'_

_'No I don't. So many people have things way worse than I do.'_

_'I'm just a whiny little bitch. Who gets this fucking upset over a guy?'_

He started on one topic, and then all of his self confidence fell like dominoes as he reached the others. 

Times like this really made Jake wish he could have someone or something to help him out, tell him how to suck it up and teach him how to do things right. He didn't have enough self discipline to do it himself. 

And that was just another domino. 

********

"Jake."

"Jake."

"Jake."

"Jake."

"Jake."

"Jesus-" Jake sprang awake, sitting upright and pushing the figure in front of him back. "Rich? What the fuck, man? What are you doing here? How did you get in?" 

Rich climbed up onto the bed, a smirk on his face and a pizza box in his hands. "Your electric door lock? You seriously couldn't come up with a more creative four digit code than your own name?" He opened the box and grabbed a slice, shoving a considerable amount of it into his mouth in the first bite. "At least do something like 'cunt' or 'swag' or 'lime' or something even _moderately_ creative." He mumbled around the mouthful. 

Jake internally grimaced at his disgusting best friend. "What time is it?" He grabbed his phone to check. 8:23 PM. Shit, he just took a five hour nap. He wasn't gonna be sleeping tonight. He took a slice of his own after realizing that he hadn't eaten since he got home yesterday. "Thanks for the food."

Rich shook his head to brush off the thank you, swallowing. "Don't mention it. Wanna tell me why you ditched school today and yesterday?" He raised his eyebrow. 

"Sick."

"Liar. I talked to Brooke."

Shit.

Jake groaned and leaned back into his bed. "What did she say?" He took another solemn bite. 

"She didn't say anything. That's what gave it away." Rich took another bite. "Explain yourself."

Jake rolled his eyes and set his slice down on the cardboard lid. "Do I have to?"

"Speak!"

"Fine." He looked to his lap. "I was gonna tell Michael that I liked him yesterday, but then he said what happened in the kitchen didn't mean anything to him and I felt my heart stop and I had to literally just shoot him some finger guns and walk away." 

Rich had his (full) mouth hanging open. "Kitchen? What the fuck happened in the kitchen? Did you kiss him? Did he kiss you? Did you touch his wiener?" He swallowed and gaped at Jake some more. "Why don't I know about your hot n' heavy kitchen fiasco?" 

Jake felt his face flush. He hadn't told anyone but Brooke, and he really wasn't in the mood to think about it right now. Unfortunately, Rich wouldn't take no for an answer. They both knew that. So, much to his contempt, Jake told the story. He talked about his fast heartbeat and Michael's curious caramel eyes. He talked about their flirtatious words and the hazy ambiance from the heightened states. He talked about the energy he thought he felt between them and just the way the boy  _looked_ because that in itself deserved some goddamned recognition. 

"So it was just talking?" Fuck you, Rich. "You just complimented him and then he complimented you, and then Heere walked in?"  _Fuck you, Rich._

"Yeah, but it was so much more than that!" Jake said defensively. Then he thought for a moment. "For me it was, at least. I guess for him it was just like you said. Just talking." He was feeling really sad again. Maybe he could sneak a third day in without the school getting suspicious. 

Rich sighed and shook his head. "Man, you've got it bad. But, let me let you in on a secret. A  _gay_ secret." He leaned in. "Michael is a homosexual, right? A very inexperienced homosexual. A very inexperienced homosexual who has a lot of his guard up. You, however, are a _newfound..._ not heterosexual. It  _could_ be that he was scared of freaking you out with his gay, so he _pretended_ that your very gay moment didn't mean anything to him, when really, he felt all the same stupid butterfly shit you felt." He took a bite. "It's a gay thing. It happens with lesbians all the time. 'She's just being nice! No gay shit here', but really, it's a lot of gay shit. You get my drift?" 

No.

Kind of. 

What would Rich know about lesbians anyway?

"So he does like me, he just didn't want to scare me away because I'm as straight as someone can be without actually being straight?" Jake asked, his brows furrowed in concentration. 

"Exactly! Well, maybe. Maybe he really just doesn't like you." Rich paused, realizing what he had just said. "But I'm sure he does! I mean, how could he not? You're Jake Dillinger."

Jake thought for a moment. It was definitely a possibility. Maybe Michael felt the same way he did. "But now its too late. He told me he didn't like me, and I literally said 'just making sure'. How do I come back from telling him that?"

"Jake, you said you used finger guns. You were anything _but_ convincing." Rich finished off his slice and went for another. "I say just go for it. And be vulnerable, don't try to act all cool and collected. I think Michael would dig that."

Well, Jake sure had a lot to think about tonight. Good thing he took that nap, because now he  _definitely_ wasn't sleeping.


End file.
